I will never let him know

A week and three days have passed in this new (artistic) school. It's been odd and fun so far. I certainly expect this year to be better than the past eleven, but that's only up to me. I'll make it the best. Today I realized one thing, while we were in class. This school is divided in three arts: musical, visual and escenic. In the morning, classes are divided in years (freshman, sophomore, junior, senior, etc) and after lunch classes are divided by area (art). In each area, there are three different levels: level I or basic, level II or medium and level III or super. At least that's how I like to call them. Anyway, my little visual arts-senior group got together after lunch and we talked for a while. One of them is a boy. He was sitting next to me. He was saying something and I listened to him really carefully, and just then it hit me: I knew his voice. I knew him from somewhere else. Or I'd known him in my past life, whatever. Then when in the subway on my way home, I realized I was wrong: I did not know him, he just looks like somebody I knew a really long time ago. When I was like 9 I liked this kid from church. He was really sweet and a total goodie. I hadn't seen him since we started going to another church, so I didn't really have any news from him (or his family) in like 6 or 7 years. When I saw him again, I felt a little disappointed. I called myself stupid for liking him once, but then I forgived myself because I was only 9. We grow up, and we don't turn out to be what we said we would. It's okay to change. But it was shocking for me, considering I was only a kid when I liked him, and I've known him since I'm like 6. Almost 12 years. I remember a few months ago my dad told me this kid had become alcoholic and drug addict. This news made me really sad. But I ignore why he became such an asshole. Anyways, the boy from school... he is what I expected the other boy to be, and at the same time, he isn't. The resemblance amazes and frightens me. But I won't let it go further than this, I'll just enjoy my classmate's presence and art, since he's actually a great friend and even a greater artist.

Gotta go, eat something and draw some more trees.