Y'know when you're little and your parents fill your head with stories about Santa comming down your chimney and putting all the presents under the tree and then you wake up in the morning and they're there and you missed seeing Santa but still you love the fact that you got what you wanted? I never believed in that story. The principal reason is because we lived in an apartment and therefore we couldn't have a chimney. And if there was no chimney, there was no way he used the door, because I would've heard him. Also because we (here in Chile at least) "celebrate" Christmas in a most weird way. On dec 24th we have dinner and when it's 00:00 (which means it's already dec 25th) we open the presents. So, even if he could manage to come into the house he could not put the presents under the tree without being watched. And that is certainly not the idea of the magic of Santa, right?. So I've never really had a christmas spirit. Besides, the christmas spirit is lost, and has been for a long time in this country. Christmas is all about buying stuff people don't need. And to make it worse, what if kids ask Santa for a specific thing and doesn't get it? You can't ask them to keep believing in somebody who doesn't give them what they want, they're kids! So parents actually are the ones who are lying to kids, and they're not even telling them the story right. If you don't have a chimney in your house and still believe that Santa exists you could stay up late and try to catch him... but you won't because he's not real.
So, for some time now I've been asking only one thing to my parents. If they want to buy me anything else, whatever, it's their money and they do what they want with it. Two christmas ago I asked for Panic's dvd and so I did again this time.
Another reason why I don't like christmas is because it turns everyone into hypocrites. Especially the people from school. Like you're in class and they tell you to make a christmas card to your classmates/teachers. I really can't do that... I mean, I could, because they will grade me. I fucking hate that but they will. So it sucks because I don't feel happy when I'm doing it. I just do it for the grade and that's just horrible because I put no effort in it and it makes me feel fake...
So it really isn't my fault that I don't have a christmas spirit. Or it could be, but I'm just being a good human and blaming it on somebody else.
PLUS, what do we celebrate in christmas? Jesus' birthday right? well, Jesus wasn't born in dec 24th. He was born in sept. And what we actually celebrate in dec is a pagane party to a god (don't remember his name). In ancient times, people made human sacrifices for him, more like baby sacrifices. They burned their little innocents babies in a statue of that god to honor him. I feel horrible knowing this, because all this years they've made me believe in the wrong story... also one of the reasons why I'm going through a huge crisis. Not only religious but also existential. I'm not completely hopeless though, since I see God in a different way than everyone.
My spanish teacher (who understood my crisis) told me one day that the people who go through any kind of crisis, their faith is stronger than the people who hasn't.
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3 comments:
I hate doing things that appear thoughtful and kind just because someone made me. Like when your parents take you out for dinner and your sister says "thank you" first, and you're like "crap. Now it'll sound like I'm just copying her... but I'm really thankful..."
What we celebrate on Christmas is indeed Jesus' birth, whether or not it's on the exact date he was born. How can we even know for sure? I'm fairly certain he wasn't even born in the year 0... he was born in like, 3, which makes the label "B.C." a little misleading.
Anyway, that was a tangent, but the point is that your heart is what matters. If Christmastime is conducive to you recognizing Christ's coming into the world, then celebrate it, because it's definitely worth celebrating! If it's not, celebrate it quietly another time; just be sincere when you do.
basically, mandemonium took the words right out of my head (COPYRIGHT INFRINGEMENT) XD
i hate when you have to make xmas cards or shit for your teachers just to get a MARK. i know when i do them, i don't put any thought into it at all, it doesn't even come from the heart, i just slab down a 'merry christmas - hope you have a good one' and hand it in.
thank god in high school they don't put us through such torture like that...
i also understand that 'christmas spirit' thing you got going on. i know that christmas spirit nowadays is getting in line first for the coolest gadgets, or getting the best parking spot, while caushing crashes amongst others. but christmas spirit for me doesn't have to do with the idolizing of santa, or any of that other crap that the media throws out there. to me, it's like being happy with my life and being thankful for what i have. it's cliche, i know. but still :P
anyways, whatever else i wanted to say was said by mandemonium XD
btw. thank you for the answers to my questions in my blog. that was truly the longest comment i've gotten and I LOVED IT :P
i agree with kristina on christmas being all about getting material things.
but the way you write intrigues me and makes me want to keep reading (:
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