so it's friday

and I had no fucking idea. that's just how awesome it is to be on vacation: not knowing what day it is, what time it is, or even sometimes what year it is xD but that is crazier than the first two things I mentioned. but it's scary actually. took a nap after school one day, cause I was really tired, woke up at 8pm, and just stayed there laying on my bed thinking "ok. who am I? what am I doing here?" and just bringing back all my memories to my little twisted head and remembering things like, this is my bedroom, I live here, this is my mp3 player (no, I don't have an ipod), this are my glasses, stuff like that. it was scary after I realized that I was alive. guess if I would've been dead it would've been funny... but it wasn't! and speaking of being dead, this is something I've been wondering since I watched a movie I don't even know what it's called but I know that Adrien Brody and Keira Knightley are in it. anyway, Adrien is a soldier and he's in service, so he ... dies. but he doesn't really. he dies for a second or two and then he wakes up again but doesn't remember anything. amnesia. so they send him to this mental institution, and the doctor who's ... treating him, don't know if it's the right word to use, puts a straight jacket on him and then he puts him (Adrien) inside this ... ugh, don't remember the word (I've been forgeting a lot of words lately... maybe it's because I've more quite than usual...) well, where they put corpses in the morgue. anyway, when this guy's in there, he realizes that the drug they give him makes him travel in time. so the movie happens in 1992 and he travels forward to 2007, and when he's there he meets Keira. of course they have sex, that was obvious, but not yet. so, they meet and he tells her his name is Jack something and she tells him that man died in 1993. so he's supposed to be dead, but he's in 2007, and when he wakes up he's in 1992 and he's gonna die in 4 days. yes that is how weird the movie is. or not really, if you really pay attention to it. but I was cooking... there is really no way to make this shorter apparently. ok, I just imdbed this movie. it's called The Jacket (how obvious...). ok, professional review time maybe:

"The film centers on a wounded Gulf war veteran who returns to his native
Vermont suffering from bouts of amnesia. He is hitching and gets picked up by a
stranger, things go pear shaped when a cop pulls them over and is murdered by
the stranger. The vet. is wrongly accused of killing the cop and lands up in an
asylum. A quack doctor prescribes a course of experimental therapy, restraining
him in a heavy duty straight jacket-like device, and locks him away in a body
drawer of the basement morgue. During course of his treatment he gets flashbacks
and visions of his future , where he can foresee he is to die in four days time.
The catch is he doesn't know how. Thus commences the classic race against
time."

don't even know if that helps. but if you ever get the chance to watch this movie (down here it's on MGM) watch it. and try to answer this: if we can travel to the past, and change it, this will change our future (or our present like in The Butterfy Effect). but if we travel to the future, can we change our past? if, like this guy, we travel to the future using some drug, and while we're there we meet somebody who tells us that who we are, that person has been dead for years. if we find out how we are going to die, could we come back once again to the past and avoid that circumstance/moment? and if we do avoid it, but still die under other circumstances, then wouldn't that mean that we really can't change our past/future? and, if we really do survive, then wouldn't it mean that free will actually exists? and also, in Big Fish there's this witch who has a crystal eye and you can see how you're gonna die if you look into it. so because Edward Bloom looked into it and saw how he was gonna die he knew nothing else could kill him. Wouldn't that help too? or make it even more messy?

oh, my little mind is even more twisted now. this movie did and did not help with my existentialism. but to be optimistic, at least I'm gonna have something to think about.